The darkest moment

The darkest moment


In life, there are moments that, given a choice, we’d take back in a heart beat.  Moments that define our lives as before and after.  Moments that ultimately change the trajectory of our lives — good, bad or ugly.


Your moment won’t look like mine, but I’ll bet you have one.  A place you failed to represent Christ as you’d prefer.  A word spoken in haste that was misunderstood.  A gross error.  A terrible choice.  An action you can’t take back, which really doesn’t represent you but which can label you in a lighting fast moment.


I remember walking through a season of dark moments in such despair that huge, heaving sobs were the norm, eating was impossible and the song in my heart was so damaged and fragile it became non-existant.


How could redemption come out of the mess that swirled around me?  Could God use me anymore? Would He even want to?  If I had done all I could and the situation was still on fire, how could I go on?


I wallowed.  I despaired.  I was nearly lost.


In her upcoming book, “She’s Still There,” author Chrystal Evans Hurst whispers a gentle reminder…

“Your darkest moments are only a moment in time.”


I wish that truth had penetrated my heart during those days.  It probably wouldn’t have made the hard less so.  But it might have made hope seem more accessible. Tangible.  Because though my mess loomed so large in my life in those days, God still knew who I was.  My heart was transparent to Him.  He wasn’t planning to leave me, though I felt lonelier than I’d ever been.  He’d already promised unity long before a word prompted a firestorm.


One of the bravest things I’ve ever done was step out of the darkness.  To move forward. It hurt so much.  It broke hearts, mine included.  It was uncomfortable.  I had to fight my way through it.  I had to own it.  I had to own my story.

Owning your story

I won’t lie.  There are still days in which the old lies come back full force and the enemy seeks to take me back to that dark place.  It happens.  More than I’d like, if I’m honest.  But God is faithful.  And sometimes I just have to boss myself around.  In His strength, of course.

The mess feels like more than I can bear but God didn’t ask me to fight alone.

“Stop wallowing,” He encourages.

“Don’t hand out a victory to an undeserving enemy,” He cautions.

“Breathe.  And live.  Because You are mine,” He reminds.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now is springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

                                           ~Isaiah 43: 18-19


Sometimes I forget that God is in the business of miracles.  Sometimes I forget that though flawed, I am (still) the apple of His eye.  Sometimes I forget it’s not up to me.  A thousand times I get it wrong, but God is still doing that new thing in my life.  And He’s patient about it.  He has time.


What dark moment do you need to shine Light into?  What season are you ready to let go of? Do you feel like you’re up for the challenge or is the girl inside you terrified and uncertain? Be on the lookout for Chrystal’s new book, launching August 8.  God promises us strength for the journey (Isaiah 40:29 NIV).  But we still have to take the first step, look our dark moments, our very life stories, in the eye, and say, “Thus far, the Lord has helped me (1 Samuel 7:12 NIV).”


Then, sisters, we raise an ebenezer and we charge forward!  We are strong in Jesus name!


It won’t be easy, but with God’s help it will be good.





Deceived Into Doubting

There is nothing new under the sun.



Well, not really. Sure, things are tied up in a pretty, electronic, informational package these days, but, nope. Nothing new.


We women exist with a whole lot of pressure heaped on our shoulders and I’m pretty sure that hasn’t changed since the dawn of time.


I’ll bet Eve felt it. All the choices in the garden, but the one that really, really looks like the best option is totally off limits.


And Sarai? Oh yeah, waiting for God to build a nation through her and Abraham while also watching the calendar flip at an alarming rate. No pressure at all. Not.


How about Mary? A young girl. Unmarried. Pregnant. Who in the world is going to believe the whole “overshadowed by the Holy Spirit” story? Yeah, that’s pressure.


The world is very happy to tell us what we can have. Or should have. Or heck, all we should want. And it’s exhausting. Perfect husband. Perfect children. Perfect high-level career. Perfect house in the perfect development with the perfect amount acreage. Do this. Don’t do that.


And in the middle of all that, we fall apart.


We learn that we can’t do everything and also do it all well. Something, always, always, always, suffers when we try to power through things on our own steam.


And when things don’t work out the way we expect them to, when it all starts crashing down, we are deceived into doubting.


We wonder if we really heard what we thought we heard.


We wonder if we ourselves are who God says we are.


And truth be told, we start to wonder if God is who He says He is.


The enemy comes to lie, kill and destroy and there is nothing new in his playbook. He can’t come against the irrefutable Word of God. So he simply plants seeds of doubt in our heads. And that’s just about enough to send us into a tailspin.


So when those times of doubt come, and they will, we have no choice but to press in to God and step out in faith. We have the power to tell the enemy that he does NOT rule our minds. We may not have all the world offers but, sweet sister, we have EVERYTHING Jesus offers to us.



“If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things.” ~Romans 8:31-32


You, my friend, were bought with a price. You are dearly loved; God’s chosen possession. That’s your reality. And though we know the enemy has nothing new in his arsenal of attack on us, how much more do we know God is unchanging? That truth also means that in the midst of this messy, stressful life, His love is always closer than our next breath.


That love takes all the pressure away. We can be still, confident in a God who loves and cares for us. And that love will never change.


Nothing new under the sun.


God. Is. Love.