Another year has come and gone. I can’t believe how quickly 2014 has flown by. When one’s eight year old even comments on the speed of the year, I take it to mean it was a year on the move.
A lot happened for our family this year. Well, really a lot happened for me. It’s been a long time since it’s been my turn. I’m sure many moms, wives, support people, can relate to that. You back-burner yourself as you answer God’s earnest call to care for those He has placed in your lives. And that is a beautiful thing. But sometimes we can lose focus.
Our sight becomes short.
That happened for me. I got to a place where the lies of the enemy were so loud in my head that I really lost sight of who God has always said I was. And that was dangerous because I was for sure living in lack. Missing out on some of the things God had for me because I doubted myself and ultimately I doubted God, although I didn’t realize it at the time.
I forgot, for just a bit, how very, very big my great, good God truly is.
But when I got back on track, I was blessed to find a new ministry position that is totally and completely and wonderfully out of my comfort zone. I HAD to rely on God if I was going to succeed because His power was the only way it was going to happen. And guess what? God met me right there in the middle of my stress and uncertainty. He’s been so good!
And then. Then. He brought me to a completely unexpected volunteer ministry that has totally and utterly knocked my socks off. I still can’t believe that I *get* to do these amazing things. To minister in music. To love hurting woman to the throne of grace. To make new friends when I thought I would never have a friend again. To nurture and be nurtured.
I’ve been in a very anointed grace place lately but as I approached this year, I knew I needed a focus. Because most days I find myself running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I have plenty of time but I’m always scrambling to get things done. I seem to accomplish the bare minimum, focus divided, and then things like self-care and even things like really, honest to goodness cleaning the house just never happen as they should.
So as I approached God for a focus for this year, the overwhelming thought that came to me was “intentional.”
Yeah, I’m not usually very intentional. At least not in terms of carrying out things with a plan and a purpose. Actually I think a better way to characterize me would really be “reactionary.”
But this year, it’s a year of intentional thinking. Of planning ahead while also seeking God’s face for what it is He wants me to do. Of self-discipline where needed. Of pushing through the less fun things. But knowing always that there is blessing in obedience.
In Colossians 3:2 it says, “fix your eyes on things above; have done with lesser things.” I think those words really bring to focus what I’ve been lacking. When I’m focused all over the place but not on the things of heaven, my intentionality will always be skewed. But in the asking….”Abba, what do you have for me today? How does this fill your purposes today? How can I serve you best today?”….my intentions begin to reflect the intentions of the Lord. It’s all about focus, really. I can’t be intentional if I’m not first intentionally seeking God. I’m like a flame flickering in the wind, desperately clinging to life.
So first things first. It’s time to get intentional. I’m excited for the ways God will use this season in my life. I know he’s got some amazing things planned.
And p.s. …if you have a word and a verse for 2015, I’d love to hear about it!